Sunday, July 29, 2012

month of beauty: someone else's eyes

It's strange, to go from a completely full-on week, of writers workshops and drama group, a big trip out to the Blue Mountains and days of Super Busy,

to spending two days in bed.

Yesterday I was up and about, crackly-voiced but mostly upright, until 2pm when it suddenly felt like a truck had come up and parked on my chest.

Since then, I've slept, coughed, slept, read, coughed, slept. And coughed!

Today was such a beautiful day. I slept the night on the couch downstairs, so as not to keep everyone awake from my coughing, and I heard the birds wake outside. The chook started to pa-cark, and the kitten stood over me asking for breakfast. I moved the blinds aside a little bit later, and saw the blue.

Beautiful sky, a day made for hiking, and a hike with friends was exactly what we were supposed to do. But I'd had maybe four hours interrupted sleep, and a hike was exactly what I wasn't going to do. I didn't just feel sick, I felt disappointed, and a bit sorry for myself.

But only for a second, because then I thought, honestly, of Jennifer. And of the quote I used last night in my blog.

On the one hand, there is the bad. On the other hand, carried tenderly in your palm, is the good. If you look, if you are able and are open, the good is always waiting there. Jennifer always looked, was always open, and she always, always found it.

So I took myself upstairs, and I thought: The bad thing is, I have to be in bed all day today. The good thing is, I get to be in bed all day.

I thought, I don't get to hang out with my kids today, but my husband does. I don't get to play with my kids, but I hear their laughter downstairs. And every minute they know I'm awake, the kids will come (like I'm a magnet and they're the little iron shavings) and lie in bed with me, show me things and cuddle, and want to be close.

I don't get to pull my weight today, preparing lunches, doing the laundry and the groceries, but I have a husband who will, and does, willingly.  I don't get to be up and about having adventures, but I do get to sleep and read my book all day. All day, like I'm at a spa or a hotel, where the staff will cater to my every need—bring me water, medicine, food, and lay cool hands on my forehead. And the cats? Well the cats will come and keep me company.

These are my only photos this weekend—my husband took the rest.

He was in charge of capturing the beauty for our little family, as, from bed,
I captured mine.

view from our minivan early on Saturday morning
as my husband sat and practiced by the beach

a Shmoo
A boy's first "Serious About Circus" advanced class on Saturday (he had a BLAST!),
and straight afterwards,

a boy playing with his buddies in the sun.

a boy racing into Sunday

with a girl,

making bridges


which turned into dams…

that had to be devotedly maintained.

And a girl ran a rock and charcoal shop,

while a Dad relaxed into


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