Monday, May 2, 2011

one of the best balls in the air

Thank you so much for your comments on my post yesterday. It seems there are lots of us, passionate, interested, throwing all those bright balls in the air! It means a lot to me to hear your words, as always.

I love the sense of community and connection this blog brings, and that's one of the sweetest reasons I throw it up in the air with the other spinning, golden balls. Even though all around me many things need to be done and Regular Life keeps coming up and saying, "Oh, really? You want to do all that? Those dreams are pretty and all, but here's some other stuff to juggle, and they're not remotely as fine."

Because I forgot to mention that less than glamorous ball (or balls! There are so many!)—Everyday Life. Actually these balls are  sometimes more like buzzing pellets, and sometimes like cannon balls. Aren't they? In fact, sometimes they don't so much get juggled as whirl around your head missile-like. "Oy!" They shout. "Try and get me done before I come'n wallop ya!"

Other balls, small and metallic, zip around and snicker. The lumbering cannon balls just hover.

You know all those balls, right? I don't even need to list them. They aren't all bad. You can enjoy that moment you are hanging the washing, when the sun is filtering through the trees, when the birds are calling. You've got these colourful pegs in your hand; the day is just beginning. Or going grocery shopping. Again not so bad when you've got two bouncety kids on either side of the cart, making you laugh. Or the paying of bills, in that moment when you notice you have FIFTY whole dollars to put into the Dream of Going to Italy Fund. Lovely.

You can always make the ordinary shine, after all.

But sometimes one of the new balls, first a zipping, mischevious, roly-poly ball, the ball that is our kitten and her crazy antics, becomes a lumping clumping unmanageable cannonball. She has done so many insane things, but the worst of all has been the trashing of our living room carpet (think: wee and more wee) so much that it needs to be replaced.

Cost! Smell! Stress! Cost! Worry that we'll replace it and she'll keep doing it! More stress! Cost!

The worry of it has become kind of overwhelming. There I've said it. Me with the Flip Side and the Finding the Joy, has become a little unravelled over the behaviour of my kitten. Yeah. The kitten missile walloped me.

So much so that I dropped a really beautiful ball on Saturday.

I was so consumed with the Stuff, the looking for new carpet, the grocery shopping, the worry over finding balance, the whizz and whirl of everything

that I forgot to take my girl to a birthday party.

The party of one of our dearest friends.

A truly sweet, bright, inquisitive, beautiful girl. Who doesn't get dozens of parties—this one was very special.

I simply forgot to go.

My head was crammed full—and I dropped something finer than all those things.

And I'm so sorry for that.

And the dropping of something so lovely says to me:

It's too crowded up there. Some of these balls need to come down.

Or be managed better. Or have more breathing in between. More clarity. More Simple. More Less.

Somehow I need to find a clear, clean path.

And I will find the positive.

I'll breathe in and breathe deeply. And find the joy.

I'm already finding it. We are taking our friend out for an afternoon of cake and pampering, somewhere fancy, somewhere special. The kids can't wait. I can't wait. This dear girl is as much my friend as my kids'.

And I already have a post written that's brimming with goodness, brimming with the joy of learning. Just dancing. Just waiting to be put here.

But I wanted to mention this first. Because this matters too. So much!

Friendship is priceless, precious, glorious.

It matters.

It is one of the brightest, best balls to have in the air.



  1. Oh, it is so hard to do everything and do it all well. I am sorry that your daughter missed the party and sorry for the little girl whose party she missed, but you are only human there are only so many things you can do and do well. There have been so many times when I dropped the ball on something because I was overwhelmed with everything else. And I felt really bad. Don't beat yourself up too much, dear friend, it was completely unintentional and you are only human.

  2. Beautiful!
    Looking forward to Thursday :-)
    xxxxx S ;-)

  3. Oh Helena! How terrible for you, but it does sound like you have it all sorted now. Life often becomes all a bit too much doesn't it? I hope things go much smoothly for you this week. Sounds like you have a plan! Enjoy, Big hugs and smoochies xoxoxo

  4. Hugs, hugs and more hugs


I love hearing from you! Thank you for your heartfelt, thoughtful responses—they lift me, and give me light.