First, thank you.
You know what for :)
Second (but really, an equal first), I just read Kelly's post about a particularly wobbly day. I so appreciated her honesty and openness about not always getting it "right," about feeling uncertain and panicky. How lovely to read her words during a time I've felt particularly unsure and overwhelmed. (Words I could then tack on to all your supportive, lovely comments from my last post.)
One of the things that has felt hardest recently is the simple Getting To Places.
I'm not sure how I did it when we were at school, but I remember the tightness in my chest. Having to find the uniforms, prepare and pack the lunch, make sure the homework was in the bag, and the constant sense of "We'll be Late Late Late!". That tightness is with me a lot of the days now and I am seeking some way of letting some things go. Or, if that's not possible, moving towards an Acceptance of what simply Is.
I counted and my boy has 10 separate commitments or obligations to get to per week. That's the minimum, before visits with friends, trips to the library, concerts, sewing lessons, excursions, or frolics on the beach. Is it me, or does that seem like an awful lot??
The other day I got very flustered. The kids were supposed to be somewhere at 8.45 but at 8.30, having been told they needed to get up early, and with clocks in their rooms, they still hadn't left their snuggly beds and books. I got cranky. I said Cranky Mum things. You know the kind, where you use words like "Always," and "Never" and "Aaaaaagh!" Statements that are almost as unproductive as "Please Get This Day Off Me."
That night, as the dust was settling on the day, and I was saying good night to my boy, I apologised to him for being such a grump.
And this is what he said:
"Mum, you don't need to be sorry. You had a good reason to be cranky. Please don't apologise every time you get cross. You were right."
And then he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me 'til it was time to go.
Oh, the tears welled up.
Because I am
blessed, blessed, blessed.