tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760384943386215722.post1557807465188288326..comments2024-02-12T18:02:06.707+11:00Comments on respect. love. learning.: from the sublime to…Helenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08560926974431305982noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760384943386215722.post-7857426824969201712011-06-17T01:08:23.538+10:002011-06-17T01:08:23.538+10:00I am catching up with your blog and have to say - ...I am catching up with your blog and have to say - I have a non sleeper, he just can't get to sleep and he doesn't seem to need much sleep... so that's fine I am used to him in bed reading and reading and reading... But I have one child prone to wild panics and he woke me at least every two hours for at least ten years of his life... now that he is older he does cope much better with it, we leave a light on, he can come to us anytime whatever - just no screaming and waking everyone up - it really became dire!!! All my kids are still happy to sleep in one big bed - even though a couple of them have their own beds... it really is safety in numbers and when I see anyone who is just not coping with their days I immediately assume it is sleep related and suggest a sleepover. I am sorry you are battling and I do hope you find a resolution, and I have no great pearls of wisdom, I just wanted you to know that you are really not alone.se7enhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15432167351999892522noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760384943386215722.post-57090565093460897712011-06-16T10:05:37.205+10:002011-06-16T10:05:37.205+10:00Helena, my 12 year old is having trouble sleeping ...Helena, my 12 year old is having trouble sleeping at the moment and my other son did at the same age. I didn't expect it from the younger one, though, because he is NOT anxious by nature! He says there is nothing bothering him except that he can't sleep!<br />So I'm putting it down to the onset of puberty hormones. He feels tired, goes to bed and then lays there for hours until I hear him tossing and whimpering when he does begin to be distressed by it. And now that it's happened a few times, it's worse because he expects it to happen!<br />Now we will go through the same things we tried with our older child- watching what they eat, no video games before bed, warm milk, a warm bath, soft music, putting a light on and reading. But truthfully, we do all those things as I need to be DOING something to help; I think he will grow out of it when he's ready. <br />Wishing you and your daughter peace and calm and sleep.Joannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12824924349210440889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760384943386215722.post-7073054502827027302011-06-13T20:35:11.316+10:002011-06-13T20:35:11.316+10:00I just wanted to add, and of course you know this ...I just wanted to add, and of course you know this already, but just some more support for you...<br /><br />Our son's anxiety was a big factor in deciding to homeschool, he was only attending part-time preschool ('transition' at a regular school) and the trauma it caused him, all of us, was so severe we are still recovering 12 months down the track. <br /><br />Our psychologist fully supports homeschooling and said in fact that pulling him out of the school environment when we did was the best thing we could have done. She said in no unclear terms that expecting highly strung/sensitive/anxious kids to 'build resilience' within the school environment is damaging to the child. I know you know this. But I thought you might like to hear that the so-called experts (psychologists specialising in children with anxiety) agree.Louhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18200295568260675450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760384943386215722.post-18495404648841511772011-06-13T19:20:14.505+10:002011-06-13T19:20:14.505+10:00I can relate Helena. Completely. We've found...I can relate Helena. Completely. We've found seeing a clinical psychologist really helpful for our anxious boy. She had many many ideas and suggestions that have helped immensly and given our son some realistic tools which he can use/access when things are particulrly tough. He still has some trouble falling asleep but it has improved hugely. Guided meditations and gentle audio stories have really helped too. He also made a Worry Box, into which he put his worries (that he drew) each evening to keep them safe and out of his head so he could quiet his mind for sleep. Much love to you (and your daughter) Helena.Louhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18200295568260675450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760384943386215722.post-48619486213137594632011-06-12T17:49:37.334+10:002011-06-12T17:49:37.334+10:00Melatonin. :)Melatonin. :)denisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07063730445661683331noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760384943386215722.post-26480580640243420032011-06-12T10:39:12.121+10:002011-06-12T10:39:12.121+10:00I can relate to this - if I don't have a distr...I can relate to this - if I don't have a distraction at night, my brain goes around and around and sometimes it's an actual cacophony of scary NOISE. I have suffered night terrors all my life and have gone through periods where I am too afraid to go to sleep because of what might await. <br /><br />Anyway. If I may offer a couple of practical suggestions? <br /><br />Firstly, how about falling asleep to music? Not fast, raucous music, but happy classical? My kids both have CDs in their rooms with happy, soothing music. <br /><br />If that is not enough of a distraction, how about Old Time Radio? My husband and I have fallen asleep to the sounds of The Jack Benny Show, Gunsmoke, Dragnet, etc. for years. You can get them on cassette tape, CD, or mp3 CD (which is more compressed and less expensive - 80 stories for $5). There are many shows that are kid-friendly - comedies like The Aldrich Family, for instance. I would be happy to point you to the place I buy my discs from, and to help you figure out which shows would be a non-scary distraction from the Worry Monsters. <br /><br />(I don't know anything about Australian Old Time Radio, these suggestions are American. If you are interested and they won't ship to you, I would be happy to have them sent to me and ship them on to you)Debhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09766716788178729762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760384943386215722.post-75376224977704982962011-06-12T00:08:40.256+10:002011-06-12T00:08:40.256+10:00Oh Helena..isn't that just like life? One day ...Oh Helena..isn't that just like life? One day it is glorious and the boy is 11 and winning awards and the next it is back to worry. But you will get through this. I am emailing you too. I have something to say that isn't commentish. [I know, not a word :p]<br /><br />Love you girl.Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00487026746937164012noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760384943386215722.post-18576102676636546872011-06-11T23:51:25.585+10:002011-06-11T23:51:25.585+10:00Oh, Helena, I'm so sorry!
We don't have ...Oh, Helena, I'm so sorry! <br />We don't have this at our house, though I could see Trev being totally out of sorts if he didn't sleep with us. I agree with Tracey - some of us just don't sleep well alone.<br />I think true resilience can should come best out of an unshakable sense of security and being loved... otherwise it's just a defensive, self preservation. Certainly not something we want for our children! (We spend so much of our moments and days loving them, why wouldn't we want them to Know it?)<br />Anyway - I hope you've gotten some great advice from some of the others that have responded.<br />Sending love to all of you.Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06646398396834008698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760384943386215722.post-74976934600862053852011-06-11T17:24:11.564+10:002011-06-11T17:24:11.564+10:00One of my girls too :(
Email me if you want to kno...One of my girls too :(<br />Email me if you want to know what helped us.<br />((hugs))Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08177333073421451416noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760384943386215722.post-76568920994744850812011-06-11T14:42:44.817+10:002011-06-11T14:42:44.817+10:00I emailed you...I emailed you...Hi Kookyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14414232981567488952noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760384943386215722.post-3333277103192565842011-06-11T12:59:22.126+10:002011-06-11T12:59:22.126+10:00Oh Helena...I am SO sorry to hear about all of the...Oh Helena...I am SO sorry to hear about all of these Worry Monsters! I sincerely hope things improve for you soon! I agree that leaving your daughter to fend for herself in the face of her fears is not the way to go. For her to know you love her and are there for her is what will pull her through it.Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17600694619101352923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760384943386215722.post-80440590177946806232011-06-11T11:48:25.556+10:002011-06-11T11:48:25.556+10:00Ah. Now I see why you wanted to sleep with me.
M...Ah. Now I see why you wanted to sleep with me. <br /><br />My own 9 year old is a worrier, too. I am trying to remember that I only sleep well when my husband is home. i.e. I sleep well when I am not alone. So why should he be any different? Some of us are not meant to be alone in the night. Our dreams and visions are too sharp and too real, even as adults. <br /><br />She will not be scarred because you allow her to come to you with her fears. She will only be scarred if she is forced to face something on her own that she simply cannot face right now.<br /><br />If I could convey the seriousness of my own dreams in words... Well. I'd be a very well-paid writer by now, to say the least.<br /><br />Here's to hoping we all get a good night's rest tonight...tracey.becker1@gmail.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09606831315390042198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760384943386215722.post-29773159815433500002011-06-11T10:35:52.582+10:002011-06-11T10:35:52.582+10:00I can relate. I have that "If I were firmer,...I can relate. I have that "If I were firmer, would she be less intense?" worry, but of course showing you child respect, filling them up with love and comfort CAN'T be wrong. I pretty much have three girls in my bed every night, and there's no (and never has been)an "it's 8 o'clock, get ready and go to bed." It's more of a gradual winding down, reading, teeth brushing, quieter talking, nursing the littlest, and eventually they are all asleep :) By then, I am usually drifting too. Or, if I have one of my insomnia spells, then I get up and finally have Alone-Time (or face down my own Worry Monsters) <br />When they no longer want to snuggle with me to sleep, I know I will miss it, even if it can be exhausting Now.<br />Peace to you, Helena. xxxcfgyexy6464https://www.blogger.com/profile/16263874166682332540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760384943386215722.post-48793660401921153312011-06-11T10:31:54.858+10:002011-06-11T10:31:54.858+10:00Hi Helena,
My daughter has had the same issues. I...Hi Helena, <br />My daughter has had the same issues. I'm emailing you a response as it took too much space here!! Hugs!!!MJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13238426502277628056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760384943386215722.post-50165045616078865622011-06-11T09:04:16.637+10:002011-06-11T09:04:16.637+10:00Oh Helena. How I feel for you. I didn't leave ...Oh Helena. How I feel for you. I didn't leave my boy crying at the gate either. And my girl has the worry monsters at night (at least not every night) and it is just exhausting and soul destroying. Reminds me of why I wouldn't have another baby. <br /><br />But you are such a good mum. You will find a way. At least to cope. Sending you cyber hugs.Ingihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06396226904711922049noreply@blogger.com